Black. It was the only colour she could see as she
stood on top of the platform. Her vision had tunnelled with the waves of
vertigo that hit her body, allowing only the dark colour into her eye line.
With the strength of a gale force wind, it pounded on her chest, causing her to
stumble back as its icy hold sent a shiver along her spine. The break from
seeing the ground wasn’t enough, though. She couldn’t go far enough to feel
safe. If she moved more than one step in any direction she would fall.
She felt
dizzy ... lightheaded.
It was the
worst possible time to find out she was scared of heights, but maybe it was the
thought of jumping rather than the actual distance. Not only did she feel
faint, but also sick. Kayleigh didn’t even know how those two actions could
combine, but she let out a nervous giggle and hoped another type of blackness
would capture her mind before she made a complete fool of herself. It probably
made her sound insane, but she couldn’t stop the sound.
No longer
could she find the answer to why she was on a platform, willing herself to
fall. It had seemed logical and easy on the climb up, but now she suddenly felt
as if she was standing on top of a building, rather than a few metres in the
air. Her heart was pounding in her chest; the rhythm frantic as she urged
herself to peer over the edge once more. Palms slick with sweat, her fingers
slipping over each other, she twitched nervously as she strained her neck to
catch a glimpse of the floor.
“I can do
this. Just lean back and it will all be over,” she muttered to herself, only
adding to the crazy image she had going on.
People were
shuffling anxiously on the ground, unsettled by her actions. “Block them out,
Kayleigh. You can do this,” she chanted ritually under her breath before she
inhaled sharply. Slowly counting, she exhaled with a deep sigh when she reached
twenty. Her whole body relaxed with the action and Kayleigh closed her eyes,
trying to find a sense of peace and stillness. Unfortunately, all it did was
make her knees weaker. Reopening her eyes, Kayleigh kept her head up and her
chin parallel with the floor. If she didn’t look down, what she was about to do
couldn’t scare her … at least that’s what she told herself.
Block it out. Everything. Focus on your breathing.
It’ll be over in seconds.
Taking one
last deep breath, her gaze hardened and she picked a spot across the room to
focus on. She shuffled to the edge, her bare toes skimming the lip of the
platform.
She was just
about to turn around when something interrupted her focus. A door slammed hard,
and into the room walked the last person she expected to see. His cool, blue
eyes found hers instantly, holding multiple questions as to why she was doing
what she was. Yet Kayleigh didn’t stop to think any further. The last thing she
needed was to appear weak in front of him, and she’d only just calmed herself
down.
Turning,
Kayleigh edged back so that only her toes were balanced on the edge, her heels
hanging off. She felt like a diver, but with worse balance since her legs had
started to shake.
She couldn’t
hold the position long.
“Ready!” she
shouted, loud enough to silence the room. Normally she hated being the centre
of attention, and wanted to shrink into the darkest corner possible. However,
today she would kill anyone who wasn’t focused on her. Today she needed all
eyes to be on her or everything was going to end badly.
She heard
counting below. “Three ... Two ... One ...” As they reached the final number
Kayleigh pushed all thoughts from her mind and leaned back, her arms crossed
over her chest tightly.
Displacing
her weight, her body fell.
